I was able to draft the first 20 stories quickly, but this one will be a little harder, because my feelings were actually involved. I was in a relationship with Johnny for a few months. The bad things they say about J names are true. We met out at a bar in Boston. Drunk me decided to rip his shirt off on the dance floor, so you know the initial attraction was there. We quickly exchanged numbers then I left. Later that night he texted me and told me he was heading back to Salem, and I thought see you never. Sober me realized that distance is not a reason to blow someone off, so we continued talking.
Our first date was on Father’s Day. I found out then that he had a son, DJ. Dating someone with a kid was new to me at the time, but since he shared custody I was able to get to know Johnny as a partner before I saw him as a father. We would visit each other in Boston and Salem, explore the cities, go paddle boarding, and sometimes I would watch Johnny’s adult baseball games. After a while things became official. I couldn’t believe it. My boyfriend was fun, attractive, strong, and even better I felt so comfortable with him.
We were spending more and more time together, so Johnny suggested I meet DJ. Since I work with children, I brought a board game over as backup. I guess it was a good way to break the ice because it became a recurring thing; every time I came over I would bring a new board game for us to play. Johnny introduced me to his family during Beer Olympics at his dad’s house. What a fun way to get to know everyone! Most of his family lived locally so we saw them often. His brother was recently married with a baby and sometimes we would meet them at the beach. The only negative experience I had with them was when his sister-in-law made fun of my name, like really lady? I hope you don’t teach your daughter to be a mean girl.
DJ’s 5th birthday was coming up and Johnny was planning a party for him at his house. We planned for the party together by getting food, balloons, and a cake. The set up was almost complete and then I heard a knock at the door. It was DJ’s mom and Johnny’s ex-fiance, Lila. She was at the door to drop off his present. I told Johnny to get the door, but he told me I could open it. The look on her face said a lot.
There were many blips once Lila knew things were getting serious. DJ was the first to spill the beans by saying that daddy’s friend brought fun games to the house. Lila was curious then, as she made passive aggressive comments about the “games girl,” but nothing was interfering with us as a couple. After a while that all changed. She would refer to our relationship as “playing house.” The jealousy was really getting to her. Lila would see my name on his calendar and cover it with a sticker when she dropped DJ off. If Johnny didn’t answer the phone she would call repeatedly, then get so upset and come to the house. One time she kicked in the AC, and another time she brought a screwdriver to try and take the door off by the hinges. He threatened to call the cops on her a few times, but it only happened once.
When Johnny met my family, they were visiting from NJ over a holiday weekend. I was on summer vacation, but his availability wasn’t as open since he had work and a son to take care of. I introduced my Aunt and cousin to Johnny one night over drinks and another day we went to Salem to see him. There was a big ouija board in the common that we took a picture in. The next day I posted it on Instagram. Quickly after, Johnny received an upset call from Lila. How did she see it when my account is private? I then concluded that she had been logged into his accounts! What an invasion of privacy for an ex to do; I wonder what else she’s seen.
I ended up leaving that day not knowing that this was the end. Johnny became so distant. I cried a lot and was drinking too, which wasn’t helping. After feeling so shitty for a week I thought it was best to end things. We had breakup sex again and again and again. If I called he’d still come over, then I found myself driving to Salem. This breakup limbo had to stop. “No Johnny January” was initiated (I failed on day 29). I blame social media for dragging things on. Not only could I see my ex’s occasional posts to Instagram, but I could see their current location on Snapchat. Knowing someone is home or in close proximity made me think nothing of sending a text or suggesting we Facetime.
As you can see the story continues… COVID-19 was upon us. Things were shutting down so I decided to send a text, “One last time before the world ends?” I stayed with him for a few days, then left for NJ. We Facetimed often to get some sort of social interaction. I sent DJ school supplies since he was home all day. We played virtual games and made up our own, such as strip dice (adults only).
Johnny wasn’t a bad guy during our relationship, but at the end everything imploded. The last time we saw each other, neither of us were our best selves. I went to Salem with a new coworker, Stacy. She was the fucking worst. We went up for brunch and stayed the day to do some festive fall activities. She had heard me talk about Johnny before and suggested we see if he was around. We went over to his house for a few drinks, which turned into the worst night ever.
It started out with Johnny playing the guitar and Stacy singing. Wherever, I’m not a singer. It was getting late and I had to drive back early in the morning so I said I was going to bed. Johnny told me not to sleep in his bed. WTF, ok? So I went to the guest room. Something felt weird so I went downstairs to find the two of them locked in the bathroom together. Fuck this! I went upstairs and wrong “fuck you” all over his mirror then left. Stacy’s car was at my house, so she didn’t have a ride home. I didn’t care, the two of them should have thought about it before getting so friendly. They both knew about our history. On Monday at work Stacy said to me, “Don’t be mad at me, but do you want to know what we did?”
Maybe it was a curse, because this all took place in Salem? Or maybe all men are assholes.
Single at 30 