Preface: I’ve been stood up by two guys this summer. On both occasions, they canceled the first date. Then when rescheduling, we agreed on a day and picked a place (without setting an actual time).
Let’s start with John. It seemed like he was eager to set up a date, because he suggested getting a bite to eat and some drinks. John chose a central meeting location, and asked which of two restaurants I would prefer. Sounds like a plan! However, that night he texted me saying, “I totally messed up and had told my mom I was going to visit her tonight.” Strike one, mama‘s boy. I didn’t make a big deal out of it; I jokingly sent him a picture of my neighbor’s dog and told him that Harley was my hot date instead.
We continued to text during the week and decided to do Saturday brunch plans instead. This time he told me to choose where we should go. I wasn’t trying to reinvent the wheel, so I picked a place in the same part of town that he suggested. It seemed like we were on track to meet. Then on Saturday morning I texted him that I was up and would be free shortly. When did he want to meet? No response.
I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt at first. I thought maybe he went out last night and was sleeping in. I decided to take a quick nap and when I woke up, there was still nothing. At this point the brunch hours were almost over, so I knew this date wasn’t going to happen. My last message was clear and direct, so I didn’t even send a follow up text. It wasn’t worth it, I was ghosted/stood up. At least I only gave this guy one week of my time. Goodbye, John.
The second time this happened, it spanned a few weeks. Drew lived out of town. Our initial conversation was about a brewery where he lived. I told him I’ve been wanting to go, so we chose that as our first date spot. He said that we should go on Thursday because they have a food truck then. I was all for it! As the date got closer, he told me that he had to go out of state for a family emergency. I let it slide, knowing that really any Thursday we could follow through on the same plan.
I gave him space to deal with his family stuff, then a few weeks later we tried again. The brewery was 30-40 minutes from my house (I knew it would take longer with evening traffic), so I left early to run some errands at a nearby mall. I had asked Drew what time he wanted to meet but didn’t hear back. I was already in the area, so I was either going to go home or go to the brewery and hope for the best. I followed up with another text and his response was that he “went home from work early and was feeling sick.” Re-read with air quotes.
If this was true, then he should have said something to me as he was leaving work. Drew was hoping that a nap would make him feel better, but afterwards he still wasn’t totally up for it. I encouraged him to rally and he told me that I was more optimistic than him. Maybe some extra time would help? I recommended we push it to 8:00 pm and headed to the brewery myself. That’s when he told me he “couldn’t get up off the floor.” Such B.S. I messaged him to feel better, had a beer, then went home. A day later he still said nothing so I unmatched him.
Luckily, the end of this night turned around. On my way home, I ran into a friend and we decided to go to the bar and play pool. At least my makeup and outfit didn’t go to waste.
Moral of the story: First date plans must include a day, place, AND time.
Single at 30 