Simply put, there just wasn’t a connection.
I matched with this guy named Richard on Hinge. Richard sounds so formal, please tell me he has a nickname. He’s also bald, which isn’t usually my type. Plus my track record with bald guys from dating apps was, well, nonexistent (they’ve all ghosted me); but Richard lived nearby, so I was optimistic.
We initially connected over his Hinge prompt about his typical Sunday being “football and a brewery.” His profile also pinged him as a pizza lover, and since I work at a brewery that serves pizza, I thought we’d have plenty to talk about.
We met at a local tavern for drinks. He was coming from an evening class and hadn’t eaten, so he ordered a bar pizza. He asked me things that didn’t feel were first-date questions… “What do you think of the dating apps?” “How long have you been single?” I barely know your name – do you really think I want to dissect my dating history?
When I finally asked him about a nickname, he said his friends call him Dick. Not me, no thank you. I also learned he was in the Army for 7 years, recently moved to Boston, and was finishing up a graduate degree. When the check came, he began fumbling with his wallet. Amateur, but when I suggested we split it he said, “No, I got most of the stuff” and paid almost reluctantly. I said I’d get him back next time.
Fast forward… our next few dates followed this pattern of beer and pizza. We went to a brewery and he called me his “sugar mama” when I paid. Why did I even go out with this guy again? Like I said earlier, Richard lived close by, so I hoped to see him 1-2 times per week due to proximity. However, his expectations for dating were less than once a week. He canceled for a headache and laundry, but would constantly ask “When can I see you again?” and “I miss you. Do you miss me?”
The last time I saw Richard was at my house, and he had asked for a lint roller before leaving. He canceled on me once to do laundry, and I canceled him (forever) because he was afraid of a little dog hair.
While I might have initially overlooked some red flags because of convenience, dating Richard taught me a valuable lesson. I will no longer date a guy just because he lives close, just because he texts me back, just because he misses me. It’s about finding someone who appreciates me – dog hair and all – and who prioritizes actually spending time together.
Single at 30 